Did I ASK You, “How Do I Look?”, Motherf&@#er????

Here is a summary of (unsolicited) comments I received over the past several weeks:

“You look tired.”
“You look sad.”
“What’s wrong?”
“You look stressed out.”
“Why are your eyes puffy?”
“Are you all right? Are you sure? Really?”
“You’re beautiful for 39.”

(Please note … I AM NOT 39! I have many, many, many years to go!).


Some of these comments came when I wasn’t necessarily feeling (or looking) my best, but others came at times when I was feeling pretty good (or so I thought), inwardly and outwardly. I have no doubt that the people making the comments meant well and were expressing their concerns for my well-being, but still. Any kind of reminder that I look as tired/haggard/stressed/sad/hungry/anxious/old as I feel is like a kick in the shins. And as you all know, I bruise very easily.

Short of removing all stresses from my life, moving into a spa and sleeping 10-12 hours a day, what to do? (p.s. if you’re willing to be my benefactor so I can, in fact, do this, CALL ME).

I hate to sound shallow, but I do feel better about myself when I look better. I know that some things are hopeless — trust me, I have tried every kind of eye de-puffer / brightener / make-me-look-like-I-haven’t-been-punched-in-the-face cream on the market. So, I need to work with what I can. Be it some makeup, a good hair day, a great outfit (and fitting into the skinny jeans), I want the outside to reflect a happy, healthy, fun and energetic me … regardless of how I’m feeling on the inside. Whether I am an actress playing an Oscar-caliber role of a happy person, or reflecting how I genuinely feel (happy and content, hopefully), I wish projecting the desired image was as easy as some lipstick and mascara.

But as my life is not a movie (not yet anyway), short-term fixes have to be the way to go. So yesterday, I got my hair cut and colored, refreshing the roots and highlights and getting rid of any split ends on my flowing, lustrous mane (ha!). It’s been awhile since my last visit, and my hair stylist noted that she hasn’t seen me smile so much and look so happy in a long time. I take this as a positive step!

Next, vacation prep — in fewer than two weeks I’ll sunning myself on a Mexican beach (or really, by the pool. I love beaches but am not a fan of sand). Pre-departure pedicure, scheduled. On-site massages and facials, check! I’ll spare you all the gory details of purchasing new bathing suits, but let’s just say the self-tanner is out and ready to go, as are the cute new bikinis.

I can’t say that these simple steps will transform the kinds of comments I receive, nor can I predict how I will ultimately look or feel. But, I am optimistic that the next several weeks will not suck. And that is quite a fabulous way to head into the summer.

Life After Normal

4 Replies to “Did I ASK You, “How Do I Look?”, Motherf&@#er????”

  1. I just saw you and thought you looked great. Not sure what to say about these peeps, but try not to let it get you down. Chin up and I want to see a picture of the hot hair!

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