Crazy Pharmacy Lady, Like the Honey Badger, Don’t Care

As I divulged in Adventures in Pharmaceuticals, there is a ridiculously inappropriate and outspoken (but absolutely hilarious) pharmacist who staffs the drug store where I pick up my (multiple) prescriptions. I have given her the name CPL: Crazy Pharmacy Lady. I love her, and I must learn her schedule so I only pick up my meds when she is there. Because she is slightly insane, and that is awesome.

Here are a few gems from this weekend’s encounter:

  • “You have a lot of names. Why do you have so many names? Is there a hyphen? Why didn’t you hyphenate? I just can’t tell which name is maiden or married. Your name is very long and confusing. Too many words.”
  • “Why are you on birth control and prenatal vitamins? That’s weird.” (me: I explained that the prenatal vitamins were prescribed because I bruise excessively, and because I am a vegan.)
  • “You’re a vegan? Good god, what’s the matter with you? You’re American, right?” (CPL is, based on her accent, look and name, not from North America).
  • “How did your marriage hold up once you went vegan?” (me: “Actually, I’m separated.”). “Well of course you are. You’re vegan!”
  • “Although I don’t eat lamb anymore. I have a Maltese. She looks like a baby lamb. I don’t want to eat my Maltese because I love her. Her name is Daisy. No, I definitely don’t want to eat Daisy. No lamb for me.”
  • (me: “I would like to remove all these prescriptions from automatic refill and just call them in from now on when I need them). “You have birth control on automatic refill. DON’T REMOVE THAT ONE!!!! YOU NEED THOSE EVERY DAY! EVERY DAY! AT THE SAME TIME! EVERY! DAY!”
  • “I need to see your ID for these allergy pills. Don’t go making meth with them. Kids are making meth all the time now. You don’t do meth, do you? Don’t do meth. Meth is bad.”

Good times at the drug store; cover charge paid for by Blue Cross/Blue Shield.

p.s. for those who have not experienced the joy of the honey badger, shame on you. But don’t take my word for it: the Huffington Post calls it “The Best Nature Video of All Time.

You’re welcome.

Life After Normal

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.