Happy holidays! What a strange feeling, to have a few days of downtime (whatever that means). Since even before starting my own business, I can’t remember the last time I actually had an entire day off. Don’t get me wrong, I love my flexible work schedule, but the reality is I really do end up working a little bit every day of the week. To embrace several days of no work … a staycation if you will … is heavenly.
And more than a little stressful. Yikes!
Yes, I realize that I am pathetic. I get it. But regardless of how many anti-anxiety aids I consume, I just cannot overlook all that I need to do. Cleaning. Organizing. Working. Exercising. Planning. Reading. Even relaxing. The list of things to do is never-ending.
So. Much. Stuff. I hate the fact that I can’t really ever just sit back and relax. Even though there are eight (!!!) days before I am officially on the job again, I can’t shake my vision of me on Jan. 2, in a panic-fueled breakdown cursing the fact that tomorrow I return to work AND I ACCOMPLISHED NOTHING DURING MY TIME OFF.
I am fully aware that I am a basket case. Really, do I need to stress out about catching up on four or five issues of US Weekly? Yes, I understand that this is all part of my personality and who I am, but that does NOT mean I have to like it. Or that I shouldn’t fight against it.
So, I began with baby steps. I gave myself one day — a totally guilt free day, where I could do (or not do) whatever I wanted. Regardless of what happened (or didn’t happen), I would not beat myself up over it. No expectations. No failures. Just … a day.
That day for me was Christmas, Sun. Dec. 25. As I lounged on the couch and felt my mind wander to that never-ending to-do list, I kept repeating to myself, “Not today. Do whatever you want. Don’t beat yourself up. You can figure it out tomorrow.”
Guess what? I survived! Even flourished. And remarkably, I feel much more relaxed (yet confident) that I will in fact make the most of my days off. Whatever I don’t get to, there is always another day.