I am incredibly grateful that I have friends who look out for me, whether or not I am aware that they are doing so. From reaching out to me at times when their “Spidey Sense” is tingling, to dropping a “just thinking of you” card in the mail, to letting me know they guy I am supposedly dating is also trolling my friends on Match.com (ahem.). I appreciate and love them more than they can ever know.
Sometimes it’s difficult to answer when I am asked if I am really all right. You know, am I really ok? Is there something else going on? The honest answer is, Yes … and No.
I’ve been withdrawing a bit lately simply because I need to re-focus on work, my yoga teaching, financial and personal goals, and most importantly, me! If I’m not picking up the phone or making it out for drinks or confessing my innermost secrets, it’s not personal. I am not depressed. In fact I’m rather fabulous, thank you very much! But I can be awesome and sad at the same time.
Yes, there are times when I am sad. I don’t apologize for this. Life is hard, yo! I am struggling. But like the tattoos on my feet instruct me to do, each day I put one foot in front of the other. I move forward and try to improve upon each day. It’s not easy. But I do it. Results are mixed, so please stay tuned.
But I am not my brother. When I want to be alone, it does not mean I am isolating myself from friends. When I indicate that I am sad or having a rough time, it does not mean I am on a downward spiral to a deep, dark place. I’m just doing the best I can. And I enjoy being alone, I enjoy a sense of solitude. This doesn’t frighten me or sadden me or freak me out. It’s part of who I am. (which, in case you forgot, is awesome).
So, thank you friends! I love you and I hope that you don’t stop looking out for me. I know I can be difficult and challenging. It’s a good thing I’m cute.
p.s. while I can’t stand any kind of country music even in its most pop/rock form, and while I usually think that Taylor Swift is a pathetic disaster, I do have to say her song lyrics can be quite poetic. For some reason, this song speaks to me 🙂 Enjoy!