Below paraphrases a recent email exchange between me and my (married) girlfriend in New York.
Subject: Dating.Are you back on the dating scene? If yes, I have someone I want tointroduce you to when you’re visiting …
I recently attended a sporting event with a friend / former colleague and posted a picture of us on Facebook. A regular, every day, no big deal occurrence, right? Apparently not. My texts, Facebook messenger, etc. exploded, as did his.
“Oh my god! Are you two dating? You should date! Are you dating anyone? Who is he dating? Why don’t you date?”
Honestly, I do appreciate the fact that my friends want to set me up with a variety of eligible bachelors (the propositions I’ve received for the married affairs are politely declined, but, um, thanks for all of those too). So here’s the deal. Yes, I am open to dating. I’m more than ready to move forward with this aspect of my life. But I really don’t think that anyone needs to be concerned over the fact that I’m flying solo right now. Really, I am fine this way too.
When it comes to dating, I have zero expectations. I am taking the attitude that whatever happens, happens. It always confuses me when people say things like, “I’m not looking for anything serious right now,” or, “I really want a boy-/girlfriend, MY GOD I DON’T WANT TO BE SINGLE!”. Life is unpredictable. Relationships are ridiculously unpredictable. Who knows what’s going to happen? Maybe “Mr. Right Now” will evolve into “Mr. Right”. Maybe the person who is “perfect for you” (on paper anyway) turns out to be a dud. Relationships can’t be forced, so why try? (and setting those kinds of boundaries, in my opinion, only leads to disappointment anyway.)
So what am I looking for? Well, nothing, but I am excited to see what/who comes along and where it goes. He may be in his 20s (cougar alert!!!), 30s, 40s or beyond … a career professional or living for the moment … never married or divorced … with or without kids … who knows? If something clicks, it will click, and I will take it from there, free of any relationship expectations and open to any possibility.
Oh, and you all can feel free to keep sending your eligible bachelors my way. Really, I don’t mind.