Please Alert the Psych Ward to My Pending Arrival

This week I did something so crazy, so insane, so unlike me that clearly I am having a mental breakdown.

I signed up for a triathlon. The Iron Girl Columbia Triathlon.

Yes, the girl who has only managed five yoga classes in the past 2-3 years is going to swim for .62 miles … bike for 17.5 miles … and run for 3.4 miles (all in the same day, mind you) in AUGUST 2011. In the D.C. area, when it’s 372 degrees with 99.99% daily humidity.

It’s official: I have lost my f&@#ing mind.

Of course I fully blame my friend Karen, who sent out an email about the event and registration. Apparently I was drugged without my knowledge, drunk, and/or out-of-my-mind emotional when I read her email, because I immediately thought “Why yes, I will sign up for, train for, and participate in a triathlon. What a brilliant idea! Thanks Karen!!”

So I guess I need to update my fitness goals from their current objectives:

  • Get back to the gym
  • Start working out again
  • Exercise
  • Take yoga classes
  • Buy lots of cute workout clothes (ACCOMPLISHED!)

In a past life of mine, I actually did run races. I have several 10-milers under my belt, a half marathon or two, and even trained for the 2000 Portland OR marathon – sadly, I never made it to marathon race day as I injured my hip / IT band during the 21 mile training run three weeks before the event. However, I did complete all 21 miles of that training run, which in my mind far exceeds any distance any sane human being would EVER attempt (and convinced me that marathons were evil, I would never do one again, and it had no place on my bucket list / things to do before I’m ).

So what makes me think I should take part in this triathlon ridiculousness?

In case you haven’t figured it out through my other posts, I’m a goal-driven, overly scheduled individual. Unless I have something clearly spelled out in my schedule – Run three miles today! Bike ride from 6:30 p.m.-7:30 p.m.! – I won’t do it. While I desperately wish I could be more spontaneous and go with the flow, the reality is unless I write it down, schedule it, plan it, tell people about it – it will not get done. That’s a good thing about training for an event such as this: there are detailed, daily training schedules designed for each fitness level. Goals and milestones to meet. Clear steps to take.

So, dear readers, I guess this adds a new category to my “Life After Normal” – that of an athlete / competitor in training. God help me, when it comes to swimming I haven’t even put my face in the water since 8th grade (showers excluded of course). I look forward to filling you in on my training (mis?)adventures once I decide to put down the wine, get off the couch and make a go for it.

291 days to go. If it wasn’t official before, it is now – I am certifiably insane.

5 Replies to “Please Alert the Psych Ward to My Pending Arrival”

  1. Laura:
    I think it is great! You have a goal and I know you can do it! If you are anything like Luke, you have drive and determination to fall back on. Besides, as you said, you used to be a runner. I have a couple of friends who started doing triathlons this year. I look forward to reading about your training.

  2. Laura, Fabulous!! It’s good to have goals like this — seemingly insane ones even — and to tell as many people about it. It keeps you focused and accountable. When I quit smoking YEARS ago, I made sure to tell everyone so that if I didn’t, they’d bug me about it -= and because I’m so stubborn and competitive, I would never let that happen — and I never picked up another cigarette again! Same when I lost 20 pounds, told everyone and then did it.
    You do great in the training, you are already in great shape and you are going to kick butt. Look forward to reading/hearing all about it!

  3. Pingback: Triathlon Training: The Trauma Begins | LIFE AFTER NORMAL

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