Moving Bravely into 2023

Well it’s 2023, and I guess my little old blog site still exists? Based on all the bugs and technical issues it’s pretty clear I have not kept it up to date, but what can I say – I’ve been a bit … busy.

It’s impossible to succinctly capture the past 3+ years since I decided to leave Washington, D.C., my home of 20 years, and start the adventure towards the rest of my life. The understatement of the year is that things aren’t exactly going according to plan.

To quickly recap: I moved from Washington, D.C. to Seattle in 2019, with the global pandemic not too far behind … two years later, I left my decade-long consulting business behind to take a full time job that insisted I relocate to Austin, Texas … I have basically zero recollection (definitely a trauma response) of my 365 days in Austin as it’s the worst place ever (I’m legally not permitted to comment on the job but I’ll let you use your imagination on how that was) … convinced said job to let me relocate to New York City where I now reside in a truly abhorrent apartment (I have not, for one single day, had functioning hot water), and concluded 2022 by having my job eliminated as part of company-wide layoffs.

It has all been pretty brutal, especially given the fact that I have not had a local community since I left D.C. I knew a few people in Seattle but they didn’t know each other and, well, people have their own lives. I knew one person in Austin. I have no friends here in Manhattan (yet); in the six months that I’ve lived here I’ve only connected with people who happen to be visiting the city for one reason or another (and am beyond grateful for each and every visit).

I am exhausted, as this journey has truly been a solitary and lonely one. I’ve been operating in survival mode since I drove away from my D.C. life.

glamour dog

Through it all, I still have managed to find moments of glamour.

So when today I was asked the question, How are you brave?, well I can only respond with, I’m still here. I am still fucking here. And navigating this journey over the past 3.5 years, continuing to put one foot in front of the other, has been pretty fucking brave.

I have zero regrets about leaving D.C. – it was time. I’ve made big, bold choices that have taken me all over the country, allowed me to meet new people from all over the world, and taken me out of my comfort zone basically every day. I do love NYC and know this is where I belong (not in this ghetto-ass apartment, but in this city), now it is up to me to make it happen.

So as we enter 2023, I recognize that I need to continue to embrace that bravery, as challenging and debilitating and overwhelming as that may be, to move onwards. I really can’t think of a time in my life where I’ve thrived, but you know, I have always survived.

May 2023 be no different.

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