April, already? Well, we are a quarter of the way through 2013 and it is safe to conclude that I am still a disaster. A certified, walking/eating/sleeping/breathing/flying disaster. So what’s new, right? Continue reading
Tag Archives: Anxiety
Happy New Year! (yeah, yeah, I know, we’re more than half way through January. Sue me.). Back to the grind, shaking off the holiday rust, and reflecting on the year that just passed and contemplating the year ahead.
2012 was a very odd year for me. I think in many ways I was suffering from a bit of whiplash: emotional, mental, intellectual. A neurotic mess. I was (am?) really, really tired of having everything be so difficult, feeling like every part of my life was a struggle, working way too hard at things yet having them be nowhere near even mediocre. I don’t mean to sound all whiny, but I couldn’t help but have a few “why me / poor me” moments. Continue reading
Since my last post on Sept. 27 (gasp, AGES ago … cue panic attack …), I have begun to write my next entry about a million times. Why has it taken me so long to get something out, especially as I have been officially “between work projects” since Oct. 1? Excellent question, and I find the answer is complicated, yet simple to answer. Or exactly the opposite of that, I’m not entirely sure.
Welcome into my head, writer’s block. Total creativity meltdown. The ultimate brain fart.
So I tried. I really, really tried. A physical victory indeed, but yet another mental defeat.
Why is it so challenging for me to be all right with taking time to let myself rest and begin the recovery process? After all, this “flu” (I’m sure it’s really a cleverly disguised plague or ebola virus) let me know it wasn’t going to go away on its own and rendered me more or less physically incapable of moving from the bed or couch since last Thursday. Bastard.
Holy crap, how is it July already? Is 2012 really half over? If the insanity and utter chaos of the past several weeks is any indication, the holidays will be here in a hot second.
I know I’ve been a bit silent on the old blog here recently, thanks to a ridiculous amount of chaos, confusion, drama, weather-related panics, postapocalyptic preparations and other craziness. Needless to say it’s been an eventful start to the summer, a season which this year I vowed would be my “summer of fun”.
Earlier today, I had a conversation with a professional contact with whom my contract was coming to an end. After closing out the transition discussion and asking me what I was doing next, he told me quite simply:
“You need to get your shit together. What do you want? Want to do you want to do? Make it happen!”
The worst part is, he’s right. I think. Or not? Continue reading