For those who have followed my ups and downs on Life After Normal, it is no secret that the quest to find a sense of balance in my life has been challenging to say the least. In spite of my best efforts, I remain as overwhelmed as ever due to circumstances both personal and professional, some within my control and others, not so much.
After watching another holiday weekend pass filled with work … after canceling plans with friends yet again thanks to my busy schedule … after realizing that I haven’t spent any quality time with my husband for I don’t know how long … I reached the point where I hit rock bottom in terms of stress, anxiety, and even a bit of depression. Because I realized that this is MY life. This life is what I made it, this is a result of the path in life I chose to take. Unfortunately, I felt like the path led me straight into a cyclone that was just spinning me around and around – no way to get out, no way to end it.
But then something occurred to me. I was hit over the head (or maybe kicked in the ass) with a revelation. It wasn’t something I didn’t know or hadn’t understood before – but for whatever reason, for the first time this gem came to me with a sense of urgency:
The only person in the world who is going to put my needs first is … me.
The only person who has the power to change my life is … me.
The only person who can stop the cyclone is … me.
So I decided to do something.
Finally, I understand that the time to make some pretty drastic changes is now, it’s today. Changes are terrifying, but exciting at the same time. Tremendous risks are involved, but potentially tremendous rewards as well. While I took a baby step or two here and there over the past few months, last week, I took the giant leap. The first REAL step. I took deliberate action to put my life back on track.
The effect on my physical and emotional being was immediate. It made me fully aware that I am doing the right thing – feeling some of the stress lift, finding my breathing restored to a regular rhythm (I guess you’re supposed to exhale occasionally?), feeling 50 pounds lighter as I began the journey towards the light at the end of the tunnel. It’s getting closer each day.
“Life After Normal” is about to get an entirely new (and additional) meaning for me, and I can’t wait to tell you all about it after the holidays. So please stay tuned!!