This week, I returned to the periodontist for another round of oral surgery. The anesthetic that is used is all local – a couple of shots in the mouth, some numbing ointment around the teeth and gums. After a few minutes, you feel nothing. Even watching the dentist at work, knowing she was slicing and stitching my mouth and doing all sorts of nasty things in there, I felt no pain, no discomfort.
I need Novocaine for the soul.
No, I’m not talking about that late ’90s song by the Eels. But while I was sitting there in the chair I realized how amazing those little shots were – something that otherwise would have been ridiculously painful doesn’t hurt a bit (until the drugs wear off, anyway). What I wouldn’t give to numb my life every now and then – things that would stress me out wouldn’t faze me a bit, I would approach the family and friend drama on an even keel, I would let nonsense pass me by without getting worked up over the ridiculousness.
If only it was that easy. Instead, I find myself lately on an emotional roller coaster filled with stress, anxiety, sadness, exhaustion and dread. There just doesn’t seem to be an easy way off, but I guess these roller coasters are what’s called “life”. It doesn’t make it any easier knowing that this is all a part of the journey; I just hope at some point the roller coaster at least slows down a bit so I can enjoy the ride.
In the meantime, I have the vicodin and ibuprofen … to ease the pain and swelling in my mouth, anyway. The rest of the healing is a very slow work in progress.
While there are times that I want to numb the pain, I know that I would never trade off the ups and downs for monotony and stability. Life is about the ups and downs… and I choose to focus on the ups and allow the downs to roll off my back… I’m not perfect and there are days where the downs can drag me down and back into bed… but, I do try to remind myself that the ups are worth dealing with the downs… and if I handle the downs well, that means that my ups will only be that much better… It’s so funny how I used to get so stressed out in high school about the littlest things, and now I rarely let crappy situations drag me down too far… Of course, I use alcohol to numb some of those crappy situations…
To me, life is about how you handle tough situations (and I’m talking just general things like crappy meetings, or bosses that ask for too much without providing enough support, or getting speeding tickets). The better you handle these types of situations, the more enjoyable life can be.
So, enjoy the vicodin and ibuprofen today, but when the numbness wears off, enjoy the power of a clear day and an evening in with your husband and an evening out with your girlfriends and a good meeting at the office… embrace each activity and count yourself as lucky to live in an amazing city, having an amazing husband, an amazing career and looking way younger than your years… but, with the maturity to handle anything that comes your way…
Love you!
Thanks Jen! XOXO I agree – just wish I had a little bit of monotony and stability mixed in with the ups and downs 🙂